How to Talk to Our Kids About Food

How to Talk to Our Kids About Food

Moving From “Good and Bad” to Energy, Curiosity, and Connection

Food is one of the earliest and most powerful messages our children internalize about themselves. Yet so often, the way we talk about food becomes tangled in ideas of calories, “good” and “bad,” or fear-based nutrition rules. Our children deserve something better—an approach rooted in trust, curiosity, and connection. They deserve to learn that food is first and foremost energy for their growing bodies and brains, NOT a moral test.

Below is a gentle framework to guide conversations at home: simple language, practical ideas, and a way of thinking that supports a lifelong healthy relationship with eating.

1. Teach Food as Energy—Not Judgment

Kids understand energy. They feel it. When we shift conversations away from weight, rules, calories, grams, or “junk,” and instead focus on the fuel our bodies need, food becomes less charged and more purposeful.

One easy way to teach this is by talking about:

Short Energy vs. Long Energy

• Short energy foods give us a quick burst—like fruit, crackers, or a handful of pretzels. They help when we need something right now.

• Long energy foods help us stay full longer—like proteins, whole grains, nuts, yogurt, or eggs. These keep our bodies running steadily over time.

Both are good. Both are needed. Some moments might call for short energy, others for long, but many for both. Framing it this way helps kids make choices based on what their bodies need, not on what’s “allowed.”

2. Help Them Listen to Their Bodies

Our bodies are beautifully designed with built-in signals—but kids need help recognizing them.
Instead of “You just ate, you can’t be hungry,” try:

• “What is your body telling you right now?”

• “Is this a stomach-hungry feeling, or another kind of feeling?”

• “How full do you think you are—still hungry, comfortably full, or too full?”

These questions strengthen enteroception—the ability to understand internal cues—which is a major protective factor for mental and emotional well-being.

3. Introduce the Idea of Tuned-In Eating

Tuned-in eating invites kids to be curious, not critical. It teaches them to pay attention to:

Body Cues

• Hunger

• Fullness

• Satisfaction

• Energy levels

Feelings and Reasons for Eating

Kids eat for many reasons: hunger, boredom, excitement, celebration, comfort, or simply because it’s offered. That’s normal. That’s totally fine.

You might say:

• “Let’s notice how your body feels before and after eating.”

• “What kind of food is this – a long energy or short energy one?”

• “How does this food feel in your body?”

We’re not teaching restriction—we’re teaching awareness and mindfulness.

4. Place Foods into Helpful Categories, Not Hierarchies

Instead of:

• “This is healthy.”

• “That is junk.”

• “That has too many calories.”

Try categories that focus on function and experience:

• Energy foods

• Growing foods

• Feel-good-in-my-body foods

• Fun foods

• Short/long energy foods

This removes shame. Children learn that all foods fit, that every food has a place, and that they can trust themselves to make choices—not out of fear, but out of understanding.

5. Model Curiosity, Not Control

You don’t need perfect eating habits to raise a child who has them. What matters most is the tone we set. Try modeling questions out loud:

• “Hmm, my body feels tired. I think I need something that will give me energy.”

• “I’m feeling a little hungry—let me check in with my body.”

• “That snack was delicious, but I think next time I might choose something that gives me steadier energy.”

Children learn from observing our relationship with food far more than from any rule we give them.

6. Emphasize That Eating Is Not Just Physical—It’s Emotional, Social, and Spiritual

Food is connection. Food is culture. Food is love. Food is comfort after a stressful time or day. It is normal for feelings and food to intersect. Our job is to help kids understand why and recognize when they want to eat in certain moments—not to shame them for it.

Ask:

• “Is this a hungry feeling or a comfort feeling?”

• “What would feel comforting right now?”

• “Would food help, or do you need something else too?”

This deepens emotional intelligence and supports healthier coping strategies – because food shouldn’t be the only tool in their toolbox.

The Heart of the Message: Trust Their Bodies—And Let Them Trust Themselves

When we reframe food as energy, teach kids to listen to hunger cues, and invite curiosity instead of judgment, we give them one of the most valuable gifts: a relationship with food that is grounded in trust, not fear.

Our children grow stronger when they learn:

• My body is wise.

• Everyone’s body and needs are unique to them.

• My hunger is not a problem.

• Food gives me energy and joy.

• I can listen, choose, and respond with confidence.

This is what tuned-in eating nurtures.
This is how we raise kids who feel at home in their bodies.